It's been a rough two years. There's been a lot of prioritizing, downsizing, and all around general trying to figure out where to go from each new point I've found myself at. I'm not complaining. Struggle is growth and I've grown a lot since my last blog post in 2013. Writing has always been something of an outlet for me, but what happens when the words won't come? When you have no idea what to say and you lose all interest in even trying to peck out the simplest line? If you're me, you just wait it out. I'm a master at waiting it out.
Through all the challenges and the trails of the last few years, writing slipped down to the last thing on my to-do list. Not only did I not really have the time write, but I genuinely had no desire to. Until finally, one day back in June, I woke up and it seemed to click. I sat down at my computer and suddenly, the words were back. I finished two manuscripts in record time as well as rewrote the first Bimini book. The sequel is now completed and available for download on Amazon and print copies will be available in a few weeks (I hope) and I gotta say, I like the second book better than the first.
But, when I say I get in my own way, I mean it. Now that they're done, I'm on the fence about marketing. There's this internal struggle going on about blowing up people's newsfeeds on social media and trying to figure out the best way to market my books without doing exactly that. I've never been an egotist. I've never been one to say, "HEY LOOK WHAT I'VE DONE!" The only impressive thing I've done in my mind is not taking five years to write the second Bimini book. Go me!
I'm the type who tries to do whatever it is I might be doing, quietly. I've learned though, when marketing your work, you have to be loud and you have to make yourself heard. I'm not very good at that. There comes a point for me, where I have to decide if I'm just writing these books to get the stories out of my head, or if I'm writing them because deep down, I really want to pursue this avenue of work?
This last question opens up a whole other line of commentary for me. Everyone knows there's not a lot of money to be made in writing these days and those that are financially successful at it, have a drive and commitment that I'm not sure I possess. Correction: I KNOW I don't. I've warned those who asked to co-write with me that I'm given to just putting down a project for years at a time. I mean, I could force myself to write, but I've never been very good at forcing myself to do anything I don't really want to do. So, lack of drive and commitment- check... And then there's the whole marketing thing. I really don't like peddling my wares and you kinda have to if you want to make it in this business. Lack of desire to market materials- check. Let's also not forget the inner voice that tells you, "you're not good enough to be marketing anything in an industry that is teeming with real talent." Lack of pride in work- check, check.
Through all of that, the truth really is more to the point of my hatred of drawing attention to myself. The older I get, the more I hate it.
So maybe I AM just writing to get the characters and their dialogs out of my head but whatever the reason, I'm just glad I'm able to do it again. If people like what I have to say, that's just the icing.
The link for the sequel is posted below. Hope you like it as much as I do.
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